4/16/16
Its 3am and my body wont let me sleep. All my body can do is stay awake and eat. Thats what happens when Im stressed. The last two days have been spent at my grandmothers bedside at BJC hospital awaiting the decision of weather or not she will be put on life support. My parents are discussing divorce, and all with 17 days left of my highschool career. I cant really seem to shake this feeling so instead I will try to put things into perspective for myself. If my family was a minority there would be a chance I wouldnt even be in highschool. If my family were of a different race they way the doctors and nurses treat us could differ and not for the better. Despite how hard whatever each of us are going through it could always be worse.
I think sometimes we forget how good we do have it. We are all graduating soon. Our parents were abale to help us get an education, and for some that is a hot commodity. When I was younger we had a popular belief that every white van was a 'rapist van'. I say that because its exactly how we view race infact how we view any differences we smack a label on it because a situation happened once maybe a couple times and then everything else that looks the same becomes the same to us.
To live life in the white 'rapist van' would be hard. To know that even though you drive that van around because its the only thing that can fit the family or the wheel chair your grandpa needs, all the kids are peering at it wondering which of FBIs most wanted criminals are drivig it around. As with race, the hard working man walking home in a dirty wife beater with just a little bit of hurry in his step because he got enough money for the new toy his son wants is looked at with suspicion because of the color of his skin.
These labels we use are determing factors of how people should look at us, not just a way for the government to count us. These labels are a form of discrimination and in the midst of all of my stress, I can be thankful that I have been blessed by the hardwork and dedication of my family and hopefully one day not have to say I am thankful for the color of my skin or the place I came from.
I'm sorry about everything going on and I hope everything is okay.
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